You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
