So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
