I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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