I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
