from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon