the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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