worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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