she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
