Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?

Fav 16 1004 3439
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?

Fav 7 4178 716
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from England

What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?

Fav 15 1187 4109
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit

Fav 7 5011 1547
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Totally get that.

Fav 13 6523 1577
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now

Fav 2 2160 1240
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that

Fav 4 3943 1293
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(417): View more from Missouri

Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.

Fav 1 595 1218
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(254): View more from Texas

I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?

(1-254): View more from Texas

That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!

Fav 0 51 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT