Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
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Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
me + whiskey = a bad person