I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
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I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?