im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
two words...techno handjob
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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