You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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