...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
