We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
