You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
