Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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