so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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