He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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