She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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