I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
