I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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