Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
