Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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