worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Randomize
