I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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