Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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