Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
