God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize