Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
