is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
