Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize