I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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