I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
