You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's blow job season.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
