You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
