yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
