Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
