yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
