So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
