girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She's just so happy...and so naked.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
