I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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