Do you still have your period?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
