She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
