This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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