his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
