Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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