someone threw a dead crab at me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My ass is underappreciated
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize