Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
