Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
