I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
