we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
