so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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