I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
