look no pants
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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