just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
