craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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