Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
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after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
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It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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