The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Randomize
