This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
