Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
