I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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