Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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