I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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